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Jon Merz

I am serious about three things in my life. Jon Merz

My family, martial arts, and writing.

I work seriously hard at having fun with all three.

Life is a series of adventures (whether they seem so at the time or not). I'm one of the few people I know who still clings to his yearbook philosophy with the same tenacity as a twenty year old redneck still breast feeding on his mama: "to live life to the fullest and have fun doing it."

I've been lucky enough to travel a bit to Japan and the Philippines. I love pushing the envelope and expanding my boundaries. I'm an adrenaline junkie and would rather swim with sharks than drown with guppies. Variety is the spice of my dementia.

To that end, I've worked on a farm stand, designed web pages, worked for the military and the government, taught martial arts, and done a stint in the hell on Earth that is Corporate America. I escaped on a technicality (I still had my soul), and ever since, I've been a writer. Sometimes, I'm a fairly decent one.

I started out writing short stories, mostly in the Twilight Zone vein and have sold over two dozen since I began. The five dollar check I received for my first story still sits uncashed and framed over my desk as proof I convinced someone to pay me cold cash for rearranging some words on paper.

My first novel was crap. Most are. I was lucky enough to find an agent with enough time on her hands to help turn it into a lesser steaming pile of dung before going out of business herself. Her brutal honesty has helped shape everything I write since and I'll always be grateful for her biting commentary. I'm onto novel number three, hoping the third time is the charm. After all, anything is possible given the discipline, drive, and courage to succeed.

Nowadays, I pimp my writing like a Lincoln Tunnel whore at rush hour. Fiction, non-fiction, it's all part of the process. I write a humorous column for WWWiz Magazine out of Los Angeles. I have new columns coming out for Guyville.com and APBNews.com. Pretty soon, you'll be able to read my humorously sarcastic movie reviews over at Workingslob.com. For other tidbits of my word smithing, feel free to check out my website although be warned: it has sound effects.

Great writers are forged, not born. My work here comes to you only after the considerable talents of Alejandro have tempered it to a more palatable degree. Constant practice and input from others is the only way to hone your edge. Anyone who tells you differently probably has ocean front property in Tucson to sell you as well.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my Bombay Sapphire and tonic needs refilling and there's a hot babe at the end of the bar who needs to hear my Eric Cartman imitation.

Contact Jon Merz at zrem@macol.net

Jon Merz's writing on Conversely

Listed from the most recent.

Relationship Resignation
On the merits of being superficial: Jon Merz thinks there's more to physical appearance than mere vanity.  Date: 4/3/2000

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