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Parallax - Advice

February 27, 2006

Who is he kidding?

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question! Recently my girlfriend of eighteen months wanted to go dancing with friends. I was not able to go and said, 'Sure.' When I questioned her about it the next day she said, 'We were so packed on the dance floor that it felt like everyone was screwing.' She also gave her email address to a guy she danced several dances with, because he invited her to go skiing. Am I paranoid? Does this sound a little fishy or quite natural? Email to a Friend


Her view:

Dear Dumbo,

It sounds a little fishy. However, these things have a way of not working out. I wouldn't make a big deal of it until she mentions she wants to go skiing with some other guy. At that point you should put your foot down.

Drunken dancing and email exchanges are all basic nonsense in that situation. Rarely do people actually connect, actually go skiing, and actually have sex (save for what happens on the dance floor). I wouldn't fret too much about it until it becomes a real problem.

If it does, you should be very firm and very clear about acceptable girlfriend behavior.

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His view:

Dear Dumbo,

Women do this all the time. It is quite natural. They kiss their boyfriends goodnight, go home and shower, slip into a secret sexy outfit—thong, leather mini-skirt and some perfume you've never even smelled—and then they prance out into the night, following the scent of pheromones, until they reach a place where they can really let loose. Where they can bump and grind away the night away. Where they can forget how boring their life is with the doormat they have as a boyfriend and fantasize about certain guys...perhaps guys with French accents and sculpted torsos. Guys who own chalets in the Sierras. Guys who ski in and ski out, if you know what I mean.

So no, don't worry, you're not being paranoid—just plain dumb.

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You Vote! 59% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 41% with HIS VIEW.

33% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 67% with HIS VIEW.

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