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Parallax - Advice

February 27, 2006

A prescription for love...

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question! I've been in a dead relationship for seven years. Recently, I met someone who makes me feel like I'm in high school. He's my pharmacist. No, this isn't 'Desperate Housewives' but my heart races when he looks at me. I make every excuse to go into his store and when he greets me with a smile, it lights up my whole day. Just the other day, his flirting made me blush. I'm thirty years old and I haven't blushed in years. Besides, I write erotica, so making me blush isn't easy. He is unhappily married, but the problem is that I value sacred vows (even though most people these days don't). This is why I haven't married the person I'm 'with': He hasn't kissed or touched me in almost two years. My pharmacist makes me want to stop being good, give in and be naughty. In fact, I want to be around him all the time. What should I do? Email to a Friend


Her view:

Dear Shopping Around,

Be naughty. Everyone needs to manage their own morals. Your situation is clear. You are with a loser who is useless to you (and you should dump him, by the way). This other guy makes your heart flutter.

Life is short. Enjoy these opportunities while you can. Your pharmacist is in a miserable marriage, which is his job to unwind. So flirt it up and gauge his interest.

If he is inclined, I see no issue. You're consenting adults. You're all in bad relationships. You can only go up.

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His view:

Dear Shopping Around,

If you really believe, as you say, in the sacred vows, then you don't even need to ask what you should do. An advice column is not a permit dispensary. No one is going to let you off the hook.

If you decide to let him cheat with you, you should consciously bear the full weight of that decision. And I don't mean just the part about helping him break his vows. I mean the parts about being 'the other woman' and living with the fact that, while Pharmacy Man may like you—or even love you—he likely won't leave his wife for you.

Another option is to get out of your dead relationship and try meeting new men. What kind of person stays in a dead relationship for seven years?

Therein may lay a much greater problem that you are unwilling to face. A little affair on the side is not the solution to that particular issue.

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