Subtle Signs           October 17, 2005

In matters of the heart, it's important to recognize signs of interest or rejection. Although one might believe most people are aware of subtle signs, this week's mail proves otherwise. Our brewing advisors indicate it's time to wake up and smell the coffee.

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The look of love

Dear Conversely,

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There is a guy who is in this coffee shop every morning. Once in awhile, when I go in, he sees me, and stops talking to his friend to smile and say hello to me and ask me how I am. I respond back. When I do, he stares into my eyes and pays attention to me. He does this all the time. Could that mean he is interested in me?

Her view:

Dear Clueless,

Duh. Yes, that means he is interested in you. This is standard courting behavior. Are you interested in him? Would you like to find out? It's called flirting. You continue his initiation of the conversation by chatting back. You ask him if he lives around this particular coffee shop, introduce yourself, etc...

This continuance of his chatting initiatives will allow you to assess how interested he is in you, and whether you find him of interest as well. The next time you run into him, chat him up and see what you think. Somewhere in all these chats, he'll ask you out if that's where he was headed.

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His view:

Dear Clueless,

You need to go back to second grade and refresh your memories about schoolgirl crushes. Either that, or you need to watch more TV, read more books, or get out more.

In the meantime, the answer to your question is yes. But I am guessing that if he hasn't done anything about it by now, he's not really that interested. Or he's confounded by the fact that you haven't responded in any way.

Lastly, the next time you have a basic question like this, you should NOT write in to the advice column. You should be a little bolder, ask his name, blow him a kiss, or take any other little step that might get you your answer faster.

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You Vote!

You Vote! 62% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 38% with HIS VIEW.

40% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 60% with HIS VIEW.

You Vote! Do you agree more with HER VIEW or HIS?

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