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Parallax - Advice

December 15, 2003

Love is...

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Leo Buscaglia wrote, "Love is life…if you miss love, you miss life." A far cry from H. L. Mencken who bitterly noted, "Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another." Ouch! So, what is love? It depends on your personal experience. Love is wonderful or love is terrible. Love makes the world go round or turns yours upside down. Love heals or love hurts. Love gives you freedom…or chains. This week, our 'gurus of the heart' redefine love.


Ciao, poco Italiano.
Arrivederci, amico.
 Date: 12/15/03

Creepy copycat?
Or recipe for success?
 Date: 12/15/03

A moving dilemma?
Just a hard-pack story.
 Date: 12/15/03

More advice...
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Ciao, poco Italiano

Dear Conversely,

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I live in L.A. One morning I meet this chick from Italy on the bus. She barely speaks English and I don't speak Italian, but it doesn't matter. She's sexy and laughs a lot and I hang out with her the whole day because she doesn't have any friends here. That night we kiss and the next day I'm in love…it's crazy. I see her every day for the week, falling more and more in love until she says she's going to New York and then back to Italy. I want to go with her to New York and then onto Italy to be with her. She invited me to visit her, but didn't say she loves me. I've never met a chick like her—she's so great. So here's the question. Do I jump on a plane and follow her? Am I crazy? Or will I be stupid if I let her get away?


Her view:

Dear Bussed in L.A.,

Sounds like your soul mate had a fling. But here you are completely smitten, so why not follow her to New York? I'm sure you'll have a great time and the risk is relatively low. If this is truly a fairy tale, perhaps she'll allow you to follow her all the way home.

Be forewarned of the differences in romance levels between the uptight Americans and the quixotic Europeans—because there are differences. Cues that she has given you may indeed indicate love in the American communication style. However, these cute little phrases are often mere pleasantries for Europeans.

So, don't plan the wedding, but give your girl a shot and risk a little trip.

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His view:

Dear Bussed in L.A.,

Unless you are bankrupt or on parole or out on bail, scrounge up whatever money you have, cash in every vacation day available, buy a ticket to Rome via NYC (roundtrip, just in case), pack a small bag, kiss your parents goodbye and follow her trail.

Odds are it won't work out. Odds are you may not even find her in New York. Odds are you'll get to Italy and she'll have a slick Italian boyfriend with friends in the Mafia who don't appreciate Americans very much. Odds are she'll break your heart and you'll return home feeling miserable.

But if you make all your decisions based on the odds, you don't deserve another opportunity like this one.

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You Vote! 45% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 55% with HIS VIEW.

0% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 100% with HIS VIEW.

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