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Parallax - Advice

September 29, 2003

God's Gift

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Some men think they've got the goods. They have the perfect package. They are every woman's dream. They are God's gift to women. These same men feel perplexed when women don't respond in kind. It's usually easier for people who don't have vested interests to respond to perplexing dilemmas. Our reflective duo offers insights.

The man in the mirror.
Take a good look.
 Date: 09/29/03

Together at last.
But will they?
 Date: 09/29/03

He's got a sweet tooth.
She's too sweet?
 Date: 09/29/03

More advice...

The man in the mirror

Dear Conversely,

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I am thirty-six years old. I've been married once and it fell apart against my wishes. I am educated, nice, athletic and reasonably attractive, I think. I have been trying so hard to find a wife and nothing seems to work out. Do women just not want to date someone who is divorced?

Her view:

Dear Reasonably Attractive,

There are plenty of divorced women, so the logic that there are no fish in your sea doesn't quite make sense.

I have a feeling that your logjam is due to your standards. My guess is there are plenty of women who would be interested in dating you, but you have an attractiveness index that is not in synch with the attractiveness index you seek. More simply, you are searching for a mate beyond your own attractiveness level. Such is often the case when reasonable people simply cannot find suitable mates.

Perhaps you should do a little self-awareness check. Bounce some ideas off a friend or two regarding your own attractiveness level, and then pursue a similarly matched woman. I think you'll find some contenders.

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His view:

Dear Reasonably Attractive,

Just because you are educated, nice, athletic and reasonably attractive doesn't mean you're not a loser. It also doesn't mean you're not exceedingly intellectual, too nice, too much into your body or overly vain. Just because your prior marriage fell apart 'against your wishes' doesn't mean it wasn't your fault.

And just because you're divorced doesn't mean women don't want to date you. There's probably something more that's keeping them away. Hint: do you seem desperate?

Bottom line? You don't strike me as the most self-aware person. Try looking at yourself once in awhile. Therein lies—I am willing to bet—the source of your failures.

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You Vote!

You Vote! 17% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 83% with HIS VIEW.

0% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 100% with HIS VIEW.

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