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Parallax - Advice

March 04, 2002

Recipes for Success

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This week we meet three chefs d'amour who need to upgrade their culinary skills. No little bit of butter will make these batters better - they're all recipes for disaster. Number one wants to have his cake and eat it too. Number two is a ground beef guy in a filet girl world. And number three needs a new recipe - 'cause her cake is about to fall! Our resident Iron Chefs come to the rescue.




He sees the ex.
She sees the exit.
 Date: 03/04/02

She said, 'Sayonara.'
He said, 'Say what?'
 Date: 03/04/02

The right time?
Or flight time?
 Date: 03/04/02

More from last week...
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He sees the ex

Dear Conversely,

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My girlfriend has decided she wants to break up with me. We were both deeply in love, but she's convinced I still have feelings for my ex of four years. What can I do to allay her fears and save this relationship? Please! This is on the brink of disaster!


Her view:

Dear Disaster,

Prove it! There is one foolproof way and many other in-betweens - some of which might suffice. The marriage proposal is the foolproof option. If you're planning on proposing anyway, you may want to expedite that little item.

If you're not ready for marriage, then there's always profuse begging and presents. Send her flowers everyday, wait outside her door with a muffin in the morning, send her boxes from Tiffany's, write poems from your heart, and promise to never again speak to said ex.

The results of these activities will depend on how you're able to demonstrate your love - and how malleable she is. If you really love her, think about going foolproof.

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His view:

Dear Disaster,

What do you think I am...a mind reader? How am I supposed to give you a decent answer without any clue as to the source of her suspicions?

I mean, for example, is she a little batty? Does she claim to see your ex-girlfriend cursing at her from dark corners when she boards the subway? Did a race of crafty aliens visit her and plant jealous thoughts in her mind, or is she a mind reader herself? Can she delve into the raw ends of your brain to pry out your secret lusty thoughts about your ex? Or do you spend sixty minutes a day on the phone with your ex, while the new girl cooks dinner?

The reason this may be on the brink of disaster is that you haven't bothered to understand the source of her suspicions. Maybe you should start there. It's not as easy as writing in for advice, but - and I may be reaching here - it could be more effective.

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You Vote! 55% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 45% with HIS VIEW.

0% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 100% with HIS VIEW.

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