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Parallax - Advice

October 1, 2001

Questions of Love

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When it comes to relationships and questions of love, where can one find the right answers? Some people study relationships. Some read books. Some go for the 'full experience.' This week, three inquiring minds want to know. Is a popular best selling book a worthy guide or an inter-planetary waste of time? Is a 'really nice but cocky' guy worth pursuing? Can one's unhappiness in life affect one's happiness in love? Our favorite love columnists have all the right answers, of course!

Planetary guide.
Love it or leave it?
 Date: 10/01/01

Worthy of pursuit?
Or not worth the shoe leather?
 Date: 10/01/01

Down, but not out.
It's indecision time.
 Date: 10/01/01

More from last week...

Planetary guide

Dear Conversely,

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Do you think that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a good guide for relationships?

Her view:

Dear Reader,

Oh yes, I use that treatise in all my relationships. I apply it to work as well. I have the sections color-coded and am prone to quoting various insights from the most famous relationship tome of our times.

That said...get a life. You are your own person with your own views and relationship perspectives. There is no book that can guide such things. And I think we've known for quite some time now that men and women are quite different - both biologically and socially. Exactly how they differ in their communication and needs depends on specific men and women.

General guidelines are quite useless. There is no book that will save you. Men and women are in for a tussle no matter how much prior research is conducted. Theories describing the process, the logic, and the nonsense ways to handle the differences are indeed fatuous.

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His view:

Dear Reader,

A guide to relationships is an oxymoron.

Relationships are extremely complex and unique. At least, mine are. Any guide that attempts to explain or define or help with relationships has to simplify and trivialize. Yes, we all have common desires, motivations, and faults. We all have eyes and ears and tongues too. Oh, and by the way, all our tongues are red.

You can tell a guide sucks when every other person thinks it's great. If it applies to everyone, then it applies to no one. It's useless. 'Mars and Venus' probably fits this bill. Though I've never read it, I'm pretty sure I could sum up its pap in a sentence or two. Men and women are different! Woo-hoo!

I don't read relationship guides for their easy answers because I know I'll be disappointed - I'm not very good at fooling myself. I don't read them for insight, or a different approach to a problem. Even if I were lucky enough to find one (an insight, that is), ninety-nine percent of the time it wouldn't apply to me, anyway.

The best guide to relationships is one's own experience, or failing that, the experiences of others. Call friends for advice or consult the stars or flip a coin or send in your question to your favorite web advice column. Then think about it and draw your own conclusions.

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You Vote!

You Vote! 57% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 43% with HIS VIEW.

20% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 80% with HIS VIEW.

You Vote! Do you agree more with HER VIEW or HIS?

Are you... Female or Male?

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