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Parallax - Advice            July 17, 2000

   Desperate measures

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This week Conversely's top-notch advice partners tackle the timeless question: how can I attract women? Men all over the world will take notice and benefit, we expect. Also included in this week's correspondence: a letter from a man who can't wait to get hitched, and a desperate missive from a woman whose boyfriend is turning himself into a poster child for Zales Jewelers...

A formula to easily attract women?
Hopeless dream, or just a matter of research and hard work?
 Date: 07/17/00

He wants to propose, but is she ready?
How long should he wait to ensure success?
 Date: 07/17/00

He's wearing an entire jewelry catalog
- Is he cool and in vogue, or is he out of line?
 Date: 07/17/00

More from last week...

A formula to easily attract women?

Dear Conversely,

Email to a Friend I would like to know, as best as you can answer, some ways to easily attract women. I am young and would like to learn your ways. Be it certain colognes proven to enhance attraction, or other traditional and more recent methods. HELP ME !!! Please, I need it badly.

Her view:

Dear Chick-magnet,

Well, I'm a girl, and there are a number of superficial things that draw my attention: I like a fun wardrobe, something slick and hip, maybe even a little euro. I like the square-toed shoes. Sports: I like a guy who is coordinated and plays different things; skilled versatility is very cool. Wit: I like a man with a sharp, fun sense of humor - I'll actually take this above all other qualities. Scent: now scent is always a fun thing but very individual, so pick something you like (apply it sparingly) and hopefully some of the girlies bite. Just never wear what your Dad buys. Oh, and the car thing - it's rubbish; nobody cares what kind of wheels you drive.

But my friend, I'm afraid you must put all of this aside because the cliché is true: this will only get you past the first cut, at best. A girl wants a good guy, someone who is great to her. Most importantly, someone who makes her laugh. Do this consistently and you've got her forever. One way to differentiate yourself in today's liberated environment is to have manners: hold her doors, help her with her books (girls dig this like you wouldn't believe). I think it's so considerate when guys make sure I'm not carrying too much or open my doors - totally love it! But that's easy and not the core of being a good guy. Show your character and talk about issues you find important - let her get to know you well.

Identify your target girlie and take a true interest in her. Put her first. Focus on her happiness and believe me, she'll notice. Be open with her about how you feel. Girls love all that emotional stuff like poems, notes, photos of the two of you. And it's true that persistence often wins out. Girls love a devoted soul.

Bear in mind these thoughts are reserved for the girl you really want, and not the masses. For the masses get a cool car and slap on some cologne. Then, excel on a fancy sports team (stay away from the chess club here). Next, spread rumors about all the gorgeous girls with whom you've gone out. There's nothing like a herd mentality to bring out the masses.

But I say: who cares about the masses. Figure out who you like and go after her. Your best shot is to be fun, charming, and persistent. (Of course, you need to know when to give up and move on - you don't want to become a stalker.) Give it a little time and thought and you'll land yourself a girl.

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His view:

Dear Chick-magnet,

As far as I know, there are no easy ways to attract women - unless you're worth a billion dollars or look like Tom Cruise. And even then, the women who are worth attracting are never easy targets.

One of the more successful strategies to get women is to have women. If you have a girlfriend, it's a virtual certainty that other women will become interested in you. If you have women friends galore, others will secretly desire to be part of your harem. There is, of course, a catch-22 dilemma: how do you get the first woman?

For that, I'll refer you to my female colleague's advice. It's not like I was fighting off women with a stick when I was younger and in college, and I still don't quite know how to attract women today.

One last thing - whatever you decide to do - don't wear cologne. Unless you stink. But try a daily shower first.

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